Have you ever been in a meeting, either with friends of the same age brackets or those above, in a class, or even in a church meeting where the topic of discussion was about sex? I mean like going into the details of it.
That topic used to freak me out! I sometimes shy away from it with laughter. It was something I just didn’t know why I never wanted to talk about. Maybe because I was a shy person?
But along the way, I became comfortable talking about it and more open to listen to it no matter how it may want to sound to my hearing.
I was open to learning. For some of you, this is a slender matter. I have friends who are very comfortable with the topic of sex. So today I’m talking about sex.
People enter into relationships with the opposite sex for different reasons, for some, it could be for pleasure, for fun, security, status, or even to kill loneliness, to fill a void, or money, and many other reasons.
You had your reason (s) why you chose to go into a relationship. But in an average relationship out there, there’s one primary reason why people go into relationships – sex. How do I know this? You may ask.
The first agreement both parties seem to come into is “no sex until marriage”. No sex until marriage is a plan for abstinence in a relationship but it is also a way to checkmate our intention to start a relationship.
I have seen relationships that started on this note but along the line, either the guy or the lady begins to request sex.
A friend was relating to me how the guy she was in a relationship with couldn’t get a hold of himself and began to request for sex even after making it clear from the onset, just because they’ve been together for a year the guy thinks they’ve stayed long together to for long there to be sex.
This, my friend, got tired of his disturbance and decided to quit the relationship. I know some of you can relate to this.
Another guy was sharing with me how his babe almost got him to give in to her desire for sex. According to him, the lady said she was menstruating and that if they should have sex now, nothing would happen (and nothing happened that day, the guy refused).
This issue of sex in relationships cut across both the male and female folks. It is not peculiar to the man or the woman. But I think that the man is found wanting more in this matter. I’m in no way saying that the woman doesn’t get head over heels on the matter of sex, she does.
I also think that it will be challenging to find ladies that haven’t engage in sex to be found wanting in this case, for reasons known to them as they decide to keep themselves.
The female folks also respond to this urge (after all, it was God who puts it there) and sometimes want to take the lead on sex.
Look at the case of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife “and after a while, his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “come to bed with me” (Genesis 39:7). It is never silly for a woman to request sex or burning with the urge of sex.
Ladies, don’t look at yourself funny! God created you with that body and placed everything in you for there to be sex but that only in the confinement of marriage.
There is a question that has been on my mind for a while now, which I would also like to hear your take on it.
Is there any likelihood for a young man who keeps more than one relationship with the opposite sex to have also several mistresses even in marriage? Do you see the possibilities? If you do, then why? What would you attribute the reason for such a lifestyle? What could they be looking for?
I remembered when we were growing up, we use to argue amongst ourselves as friends that our moms’ food was the best, it tastes better than your mom’s food. How did we come to that conclusion? We were told never to eat out of the home! So, we got used to one person’s food – mom.
You see, God created sex to be enjoyed in the confinement of marriage and it is in this union that God recognizes sex as marriage. Just like kids growing up, we saw our mom’s food as the best, so also, that’s how it ought to be for every first-timer who should have sex in the confinement of marriage.
The husband sees having sex with his wife as the best and wife enjoying sex with her husband as the best, there’s no room for comparison. There is no room for the man to compare his wife to other women because he hasn’t slept with any and the same thing goes for the wife!
But for the young man, who has started the journey of exploring different women and having different experiences of them all, it may be difficult for such a one to be faithful to one woman.
If you watch over your life closely, you would know the direction certain habits would lead you into.
The issue is not the urge or the desire like I said earlier, God placed it there for us, but the issue is that we don’t know how to exercise self-control, an uncontrollable desire for sex. Just like what the apostle Paul said, you should bring your body under control (see 1 Cor.9:27).
You should bring such a habit before God and ask Him to help you deal with it so that you can save your life from destruction. Sexual temptation remains one of the Devil’s greatest weapons in his arsenal in destroying a lot of marriages.
In this battle, I have seen the mighty fallen (see 2 Samuel 1:25). Take heed to yourself. The best you can do to save your life is to do what was advised of us, “flee fornication” (1 Cor.6:18).
I pray that God opens our eyes to see the gravity of this matter.